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Premier League Gameweek 19 – Boxing Day Madness

Game of the Weekend

Manchester United 4-3 Newcastle United
Like most Manchester United games this season, defending was not an option, only a limitation. Manchester United defend so badly these days, that they posses the ability to make other teams defend badly, even teams who generally defend well. That’ll explain why Stoke City somehow let in four goals at Old Trafford and Manchester City let in three at home to United. Newcastle on a good day defend pretty badly, so it was no surprise to seem them outdo United in the bad defending stakes in this seven goal thriller.
An enthralling game at Old Trafford as Newcastle led three times thanks to several gifts from United players. United twice levelled thanks to goals from defenders refusing to do any defending, before van Persie and Hernandez sealed the points for the reds. In between all the gifts being handed out on the pitch, the sidelines offered no festive joy for the officials, as they took a verbal pasting from Sir Alex Ferguson, Alan Pardew and the entire Newcastle coaching team.

Stoke 3-1 Liverpool
A Stoke City home game that doesn’t end 1-1 or 1-0 is about as rare as an Emile Heskey goal. And  though the score line came as a surprise, the manor and method of Stoke City’s goals certainly weren’t.
It took about thirty seconds for Stoke City players to begin their customary shirt pulling, Ryan Shawcross bringing down Luis Suarez in the area for an early Liverpool penalty, which was converted by Steven Gerrard. But from then on in, it was all Stoke- throw in, corner, throw in, flick on, lucky bounce, 3-1, game, set and match. In the middle of it all Luis Suarez attempted several nutmegs, Stewart Downing mis-controlled the ball and Robert Huth put someone in a headlock. Stoke City still unbeaten at home this season.

Sunderland 1-0 Manchester City
Remember at the start of the season when Manchester City sold Adam Johnson and signed Scott Sinclair and every man and his dog simultaneously uttered the words “well that’ll come back and bite them”.
Well, today was that day, a boxing day where City’s title challenge suffered a significant but by no means knockout blow, as Adam Johnson struck the winner against his former club. Scott Sinclair wasn’t present, he was most likely sitting at home, stuffing his face with Helen Flanaghan’s poorly cooked turkey breasts or something like that.

Best of the Rest
A bad week for Aston Villa as they somehow managed to perform as spinelessly and gutlessly during their 4-0 trouncing at home to Spurs as they did in their 8-0 trouncing at Chelsea just a few days earlier. Gareth Bale stealing the show with a hat trick and his silly heart celebration.
Harry Redknapp’s honeymoon period at Q.P.R is all but over after his side lost again, this time to West Brom, though Harry Redknapp’s excitement at the impeding January transfer window will put these defeats at the bottom of his Christmas to do list.
Everton 2-1 Away team (Wigan), like Stoke City and their familiar home game score line, Everton sealed their customary 2-1 home win thanks to goals from Leon Osman and Phil Jagielka. For Wigan, it’s getting to that point of the season where they appear to be completely hopeless and heading towards the relegation exit door, what they’re really doing is re-charging their batteries for their Barcelona like recovery in the middle of next Spring.
Juan Mata continued to outshine Eden Hazard as he struck the winner as Chelsea won at Norwich, Chelsea are entering that phase of the season where they win games they’re supposed to win and thus declare that they are ‘back’ and are once again in the title race. In reality, none of these things are of course true.
Finally, Fulham and Southampton drew 1-1 at Craven Cottage, whilst Reading held Swansea to a goalless draw.


Too Good Too Bad

Manchester United comebacks theory
I have a theory as to why Manchester United continue to deliberately fall behind in games before turning them around and winning.
It’s as if United are on a mission to win the league this year by doing what Manchester City did to Q.P.R….every single game.…. in order to make a point. A very risky mission it is, but so far it’s so good for Sir Alex Ferguson and his side.

Match of the Day Pundits Watch
We all have our opinions on the opinions of the Match of the Day pundits, like the fact Alan Hansen and Mark Lawrenson appear to be getting more and more tanned by the week. Or the fact with each passing week, an extra button is undone from their horrifically designed shirts. The general consensus is that the Match of the Day pundits say very basic things and generally have no opinions of their own. This week, this was taken to a new level. During the Boxing Day broadcast Mark Lawrenson stated that Wigan would be safe from relegation, he then turned to Alan Shearer to gauge an opinion but rather than wait to see what Mr. Shearer had to say, Mark Lawrenson simply said “say yes, agree with me” to which Shearer….did. Punditry at it’s finest.

Joe Hart ‘rare mistake’ Watch
After his howler at Sunderland gifted the Mackems all three points, Joe Hart’s mistake was described as being ‘rare‘. For anyone who’s watched Joe Hart this season without ‘Brave England player’ glasses on. It was hilariously incorrect to describe his mistake as ‘rare’. Since about September Joe Hart has averaged roughly one mistake a week, from shipping weak Champions League goals against Real Madrid and Ajax to clangers against Spurs and Arsenal, Sunderland on Wednesday was anything but ‘rare‘.

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