Wenger sleeps through Transfer Deadline Day!

Arsene Wenger woke up this Wednesday morning to realise he had completely slept through TDD. Following Saturday afternoon’s lunch time win away at Ewood Park, Wenger thought he would embark on a bank holiday bender with Ivan Gazidis and Pat Rice after getting one over on old rival ‘Big Sam’, a man ‘Le Proffeseur’ has only beaten away from home TWICE.

As Wenger returned to London Colney this morning, he realised he still had the bleech blonde Spaniard Manuel Almunia, Young Pole Lukasz ‘Flappy-Handski’ and Don Vito Mannone, while fifth choice stopper James Shea was off training with the England squad. It soon came to Wenger’s realisation that his bank holiday binge had gone too far and he missed the deadline to sign Given, Lloris and Schwarzer. Arsene has attempted to get the window extended much like he did with the signature of Andrey Arshavin when he signed for the club days after the window had closed, but any attempt by Arsenal looks to have been blocked.

This means that Almunia will remain the Gunners #1 for the forseeable future, and also remain apart of the bleech-blonde brigade along with crazy-haired Bacary Sagna and new member Alex Song, who sported his new barnet at Ewood Park and looked like an uncanny resemblance of his uncle Rigobert.